The Senior Driver Dilemma: How to Approach Conversations About Driving

Understanding the Senior Driver Dilemma

It’s one of the hardest things older people have to do – give up their car keys.

“Seniors equate driving with independence – that’s why it’s so hard for them to admit it’s time to stop,” said Sierra Goetz, co-founder and operations director at HomeCare Advocacy Network (HCAN). “There is no magic number – no set age when people should stop driving. However, we know that many seniors drive, on average, seven to ten years longer than they probably should.”

Family conversations about driving can be difficult and emotional – but, if you’re worried about the safety of your loved ones and others, they’re necessary. Here are some tips that could make the driving discussion more productive.

The Importance of Early Conversations with Senior Drivers

Have the conversation as early as possible. Don’t wait for a car accident or close call to force the discussion.

Choosing the Right Time and Place for Discussions

Choose the right time and place. Find a calm, private moment when you can have their full attention. 

Involving Family Members in the Conversation

Include other family members. Before talking to your parents, make sure you’re on the same page as your siblings.

Approaching the Topic with Empathy

Begin with empathy. Listen carefully and respect their feelings. Be sure to listen their concerns, objections and anxieties without minimizing their feelings.

Emphasizing Safety for Senior Drivers

Stress safety. Express your concern about safety – theirs and others they will encounter on the road.

Providing Specific Examples of Driving Concerns

Focus on specific examples. Instead of general statements, cite times you noticed driving difficulties.

The Benefits of In-Person Conversations

If possible, talk in person. It’s always best to hold sensitive conversations in person. If you live too far away for that, consider setting up a video call.

Avoiding Power Struggles with Senior Drivers

Avoid a power struggle. Don’t push or give ultimatums.

Exploring Alternative Transportation Options for Seniors

Be prepared with alternatives. Remind them that there are options other than relying on friends and family members – public transportation, ride shares and professional caregivers.

The Role of Medical Professionals in Driving Decisions

Enlist the help medical professionals. Oftentimes, older people will heed the advice of their doctors – even when it comes to driving. 

How HCAN Supports Senior Drivers and Their Families

“At HCAN, we understand that family members and friends aren’t always available to take their aging loved ones where they need to go. That’s why one of the home care services we offer is transportation,” Goetz said. “Our caregivers take our clients to doctor’s appointments, the grocery store, to meet friends for lunch and more. With our help, they can remain active, engaged and independent.”

For information about all of HCAN’s home care services, visit hcan.com or contact your local HCAN-supported office.